Hyde FC boasted an uncannily star-studded side for last night’s home friendly against Burnley – with Sylvester Stallone, Tom Hanks and even a pornstar donning their shinpads and having a kickabout.
The Skrill Conference North club went viral after a string of left-wing revolutionaries like Tony Blair, Karl Marx and Mahatma Gandhi led them to a 5-4 penalties victory over local rivals Altrincham on Saturday after drawing 2-2 in normal time.
The trick was repeated for last night’s 3-2 defeat to the Premier League new boys at Ewen Fields when names of male megastars were used to mask the identity of trialists on the club’s Twitter feed.
Not long till kick off,unfortunately we have a team of predominantly trialist so will have to use pseudonyms again
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
Pop star George Michael, film favourites Stallone, Hanks, Humphrey Bogart and Clark Gable as well as fictional spy Austin Powers – and even porn star Ron Jeremy – all were on display.
George Michael,Humphrey bogart,Arnold Schwarzenegger,Clark gable,ron Jeremy,tom hanks,Patrick Swayze,Anthony Hopkins.austin powers
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
And predictably the match updates for Hyde fans started – and finished – with porn legend Ron.
Ron Jeremy is the first player to have a shot inside the box no surprise there.
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
It’s finished 3-2 to Burnley plenty of plus points especially Ron Jeremy lasting 90 minutes.
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
The Tameside club gave the Clarets the runaround in the first-half and were 2-0 up at the break with Patrick Swayze starring and an Oscar-worthy display from the rest of the side.
Corner to Hyde Patrick Swayze shouts for someone else to take it “Nobody puts baby on corners”
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
Half time here Hyde 2 @BurnleyOfficial 0 good half by the lads few nominees for the oscars.
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
After the break, manager Scott McGivern gave cameos to other Hollywood heavyweights like Stallone, Harrison Ford and Roy Schneider as he auditioned new starlets for Hyde’s attempts to bounce back to the Skrill Conference National.
Roy Schneider up against a big defender think he’s “Gonna need a bigger boat”
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
Harrison Ford gonna take this free kick “use the Force”
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
As the match began to turn against them, Rocky refused to be beaten and threatened a comeback.
Sylvester Stallone shouting for the ball “Yo Adrian
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
Nice feet by Austin Powers “Oh groovy baby”
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
But despite the fresh legs the second act did not go to plan and Sean Dyche’s men completed a turnaround with three goals after the break to grab the win before the credits rolled.
And one player took it particularly to heart as the Tigers’ chances had soon Gone with the Wind.
Bad challenge on Clark Gable but “Frankly dear he doesn’t give a damn”
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 29, 2014
Regular tweeter Tom Marsland hit the headlines at the weekend with his own distinctive take on Hyde’s unique live update service with left-wing revolutionaries dictating the play against Altrincham.
The Labour Party member was absent for the Burnley clash, but certainly led the way on Hyde’s Twitter feed. Take note Ed Miliband.
Can’t tweet trialists real names today, so they shall all be named after left-wing revolutionaries. #DasKapital
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 26, 2014
Blair came in for some stick and struggled to earn his stripes – it remains to be seen if he’ll be penning a deal with the Tigers.
Tony Blair clearly unhappy with some managerial decisions. Really hoping he doesn’t try an initiate a regime change…
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 26, 2014
Tony Blair keeps drifting out to the right wing. To be expected I suppose.
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 26, 2014
Fidel Castro is dictating play today. 1-0 to Hyde, 60mins gone.
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 26, 2014
Sub: Mahatma Ghandi on for Hyde. Have to question his decision to play in flip flops.
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 26, 2014
The cobbled together side may have been strong on the left wing – but it still took a tense sudden-death penalty win to separate the two sides.
Full time: Hyde 2-2 Altrincham. Hyde win 5-4 on penalties! I need a lie down.
— Hyde FC Official (@hydefclive) July 26, 2014
Next up for Hyde is Droylsden in the Tony Downes Memorial Trophy at the weekend before they kick-off their league campaign at home to Oxford City on August 9.
Hyde image courtesy of SteHLiverpool, Sylvester Stallone image courtesy of Gage Skidmore, with thanks.
