Count Binface, the UK’s only politician from planet Sigma IX, is often seen as a ‘novelty’ political candidate. But as he prepares to take to the stage in Manchester, MM noticed some serious ideas lurking in that giant bin brain of his.
Hidden behind his more humorous manifesto aims and a voice straight out of an Eton elocution lesson is a cut-throat critique of the state of British politics and a rallying cry for the preservation of democracy.
“[Keir Starmer] could have declared war on somebody and he’d have done better than the last lot”, said the extraterrestrial warrior.
From calling Starmer ‘naive’ to hailing the previous Conservative government as ‘f***ing awful’ the alien politician did not shy away from voicing his beliefs.
‘Smashing the fascists’: Binface’s road to political stardom
The 5,702-year-old (in Sigmoid years) leader of the Recyclons came to Earth for a holiday from his day job, making his debut on the British political scene in 2017.
Since then he has become a two-time candidate for Mayor of London and three-time candidate in general elections.
Binface made headlines for his unconventional policy aims, including price-capping croissants, nationalising Adele and making Claudia Winkleman’s fringe Grade I listed.
The Supreme Leader (as he likes to be called) spent 2024 ‘smashing the fascists’, in his own words, as he gained more votes than far-right party Britain First in the London mayoral election and witnessed Labour’s general election victory.
Now, with the 2024 General Election firmly behind him, the Benevolent Dictator (another of his favourite titles) is looking to the future, embarking on his first national tour, Bindependence Day, where he aims to set out his MEGA (Make Earth Great Again) plans.
But what does he make of the state of British politics?
‘He gets a D minus from me’: Binface on Sir Keir Starmer
Speaking to MM ahead of his debut Manchester show at the Cultplex this Sunday, His Binificence offered a powerful statement on Keir Starmer’s premiership so far.
He said: “By simply not being the Tories, he gets a tick.
“Literally, he could probably have declared war on somebody and he’d have done better than the last lot.
“They were f***ing awful.”
However, Binface soon began discussing Starmer’s shortcomings in detail.
The Count said: “I think he gets a D minus from me, and that’s the best.
“I cannot believe that someone who is supposed to be bright – a former prosecutor – can walk into these elephant traps, like, why allow Sue Gray [Starmer’s chief of staff] to earn more than you?
“Why take free clothes for your wife when you earn hundreds of thousands of pounds?
“Why do that, when you are taking away people’s ability to not freeze during the winter months?”
So, MM asked him what he would do differently if he was in the PM’s shoes.
The Recyclon said: “If I hadn’t bought those shoes, I’d take them back for starters.
“Then, I would not let the pensioners freeze.
“I would not take gifts from a dodgy source.
“Basically, I wouldn’t be a complete s***.”
By this point, it was becoming increasingly clear that the giant bin on the other end of the zoom call was much more well versed in the state of British politics than some of his more humorous policy aims would make us believe.
‘F*** me, is that still going?’: Binface on democracy:
Binface also had some unexpectedly profound, yet equally hilarious, musings on the state of democracy on Earth.
He said: “You are the only planet using [democracy] in the entire cosmos, but, you’ve gone and thrown away the instruction booklet and you don’t know what you’re doing.
“It’s the equivalent of when you see a branch of Wimpy.
“You think, ‘f*** me is that still going? Must have seen better days’ – but a bit of you still fancies a bite.”
Binface went on to express his love for democracy in detail, once again proving himself to be much more than a light-hearted comedy act.
He said: “With democracy, you’ve got to cherish it, defend it while you’ve got it.
“I want to enjoy and celebrate every single vote every human can make in a free and fair election, because I just don’t think people appreciate just how amazing it is.
“If I can help a little bit and spread the word about what democracy is, how to vote and get a few votes along the way, hey presto, lovely stuff.”
‘It should not be that much to ask’: Binface on supporting the NHS and ending homelessness
The Count is also serious about supporting charities, with a proportion of the proceeds from his merchandise going to homeless charity Shelter and NHS-supporting charities.
The Recyclon leader said: “Homelessness has an actually achievable solution, right?
“It should not be that much to ask in a developed country.
“My own policy is to donate Royal palaces and oligarchs’ homes over to refugees and homeless people, because if you tell me the Royal family need more than one giant palace to live in, they can come and answer to me.
“And the NHS charities, well of course the NHS is the jewel in Britain’s crown, and it needs support more now than ever.”
‘2028 could be my year’: Binface’s future in politics
Though the Count kept his cards close to his metallic chest when asked what his future held, he did seem optimistic about continuing his role in British politics.
He said: “I think we are at a point where voters are thinking, ‘Well, the Tories were terrible, Labour are turning out to be not much better, the Liberal Democrats are more interested in going to Thorpe Park and Alton Towers.
“‘Where else do we go? Certainly not Nigel [Farage].’
“So, basically, 2028, 2029 could be my year.”
Count Binface will be revealing more of his hilarious future manifesto aims – alongside some evidently quite serious social commentary – on his national Bindependence Day tour.
According to the bin himself, tour tickets are selling like ‘really quite warmed cakes’.
It is safe to say Count Binface is certainly carving a niche for himself as a comedy politician, but his underlying beliefs are far from trivial.
Count Binface is performing at the Cultplex in Manchester on Saturday 29 September as part of a UK tour.
Featured image: Count Binface by James Veysey
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