Casual sex, an ego boost or simply good old-fashioned love? MM lift the lid on online dating and investigate what people are really looking for from the world of digital matchmaking.
After revealing all about my Tinder experience many people got in touch to share their own experiences, so I decided to delve a little deeper and unearth just what people are using internet dating sites for.
I’m pretty much a connoisseur of the internet dating game nowadays having been on Guardian Soulmates, Plenty of Fish (POF) and Match in the last year.
I’ve been on plenty of dates, some OK, some good and some excellent. However obviously none of them have resulted in an actual relationship (do eight dates with the same guy count? No they don’t do they?)
Although I’m not exactly the most successful example of internet dating I’m pretty knowledgeable about it…or so I thought.
My friend Harry* told me that he’d been on one site for six months without even a sniff of a date.
This seemed a little odd as with our online communities and social networking you would think that surely anyone could get a date nowadays.
He’s such a nice guy and has a lot to offer (though not my type I’m afraid) and after a quick browse on his dating profile it all looked good.
But when asked about whether he’d taken the plunge and ever asked anyone on the site out for a date, the answer was no.
“I’m not sure what to say,” the 26-year-old said. “I have approached women with introductory messages and stuff but I never really get much of a response.”
Perhaps there are too few potential partners out there even with females reportedly making up 45% of Tinder users.
But this doesn’t account for the bigger picture which begs the question, just where are all the genuine romance seekers?
James*, 32, said he plucked up the courage to ask someone out and went to great lengths to plan a romantic date but she didn’t turn up, failed to give a reason why, and never contacted him again.
Ben*, aged 26, also hasn’t had much luck online and said he thought girls were using Tinder as something of an ego boost rather than a genuine attempt to find love.
He’s clocked up a whopping 50 mutual matches but is yet to go on a single date.
But it’s not just lovelorn men who are missing out on the chance of eternal happiness as plenty of male users are utilising a more casual approach to meeting potential partners.
Jack*, 23, has been on Tinder for more than two months and admitted that he has no real intention of finding a date merely using the app as a game.
He said: “I’ve always viewed dating sites as something for older people but I like Tinder because it’s fun and is a way to pass the time when I’m bored at the bus stop.”
For 24-year-old Andy* dating app Tinder is a way of organising no-strings hook ups.
“To be honest I just wanted to get laid,” he admitted. “My mate went on it and met up with some ‘MILFs’ last year so I decided to have a go.”
It’s clear that people have different expectations when they log-on and despite James’* bad experience he admits he won’t give up easily.
He said: “It seems I get so far and then the actual date part doesn’t happen.
“I have asked other guys, and it seems to be the same for them too, even a guy who’s got a six-pack and the lot! So that gives me hope that it’s not just me.
“The majority of the girls in the age range I am looking at (30-36) all seem to want the same thing, a nice charming, funny guy. But it seems to be hard to get past the first chat.
“Because POF and Tinder are free, I don’t think people take them very seriously and in general you get a lot of people just wanting to sleep with you, or talk dirty, or pretend they like you just for the attention they get.”
It seems it’s a mixed bag out there with people either looking for true love, a quick fling or somewhere in between.
I may not have found my Prince Charming just yet but one thing’s for sure, I consider myself very lucky to have even had one successful date in this current climate of confusion!
Have you found love through a dating website or had an unlucky-in-love experience? Post your experiences below.
*Names changed to protect identity
Picture courtesy of peterpunk777 via Flickr, with thanks
