A Stockport cross-dressing comic battling with severe depression has spoken of the ‘masks’ comedians wear to hide who they really are.
Matthew Chappell, 23, from Stockport, says he descended into the dark world of depression following his performance at Edinburgh Fringe festival last year.
Matthew dons a wig and women’s clothing to play Freda Chittington, based on his grandma who passed away earlier this year.
“A lot of comedians, they want to be accepted,” he told MM. “I do a character, who’s nothing like me, but that’s who I want to be in a way.
“I’m a shy person normally but when I play that character I’ll happily speak to anyone because it’s not me, its lie a disguise.
“I can hide behind the mask.
GET YOUR FERRET OUT: Matthew says he is more confident as Freda
“Comedians do it, they don’t all dress up but they put on this persons like they’re someone else but really they’re someone completely different.”
Matthew said it was the aftermath of performing at Edinburgh Fringe festival that was the catalyst for his inner turmoil.
“You have that high, and then all of a sudden there’s no-one to talk to,” he told MM.
“It literally just sort of crept up on me in the last year. I was bursting into tears for no reason and just felling, really, really low.
“There was nothing to explain it, it just sort of like that controlled you, you’re not in control of it, it’s not you. It’s just something at the back of your head that’s making you feel like that.”
THE SOUND OF LAUGHTER: Freda has perfomed all around the country
He added: “I’ve been trying to look back to see what might have caused it, but I’ve always had a happy life and childhood. Nothing’s drastic has ever happened.
“Sometimes you can be in these great moods and then something triggers it but you don’t know. You try and work out what it is but you don’t know. It’s really strange.”
He is now set to launch a new website, Tears of a Clown, after being encouraged by the response of a Facebook page he set up to tackle the issue of severe depression following Robin Williams’ death
The Good Will Hunting actor passed away on Monday after taking his own life, and there has been much discussion surrounding depression since.
And it’s not the first time a high profile actor has suffered with such issues.
THE FACE BEHIND THE MASK: Matthew says he is normaly a ‘shy’ person
John Cleese, Jack Dee, Caroline Aherne and David Walliams have all suffered with severe depression at stages of the lives.
Last year Stephen Fry, who has bipolar disorder, revealed he tried to kill himself in 2012.
Matthew believes much of this boils down to the persona that comedians build for themselves, which is not necessarily a true reflection of who they really are.
He says that success helps create an illusion that one must be happy, when the reality can be far from it.
“People think, ‘oh he must be really happy, he’s a millionaire who’s got everything going for him’, but they’re not, they’re just weak,” he said.
“They’re not weak people, but they’ve got this side of them that they need help with, but people don’t think they need that kind of help because they’ve got everything.”
IDOL: Matthew posing with the Fast Show’s John Thompson
He added: “Some people just don’t understand it at all, they just think ‘just cheer up’, that kind of thing. There’s something Ricky Gervais said last night on Twitter.
“He said ‘telling people with depression to ‘just snap out of it’ is about as useful as telling people with cancer to ‘just stop having cancer’. It’s a bit blunt, but it’s spot on.”
Like much of the world, Matthew was shell-shocked to hear the news of Robin Williams’ suicide, who always put on a public smile, despite much publicised drink and drug problems.
“I was really upset to be honest, because he comes across as this jolly, crazy person. I was really upset by it, I was shocked, and that’s what triggered me to start the group,” he told MM.
“I’d thought about doing the group before but until that point when everyone started talking about it, it just we seemed the right time to do it.”
Telling people with depression to “just snap out of it” is about as useful as telling people with cancer to “just stop having cancer”.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) August 13, 2014
Following his death, Matthew set up a Facebook page to help encourage fellow comedians to discuss their troubles, and the Stockport comic says he was ‘overwhelmed’ by the response.
“The amount of comedians who got in touch to tell me they suffered with severe depression, and I was overwhelmed by it all,” he said.
“Loads of people got in touch and so it was nice to show that I wasn’t the only one suffering.
“See no-one really talks about it, it’s seen as a sign of weakness. So the idea is I create this group to support people and have an honest chat.
“I did a post yesterday on the Facebook group talking about what medication I was on, and people were replying saying they were on this, and they were suicidal, and it’s just great that people are talking about it.”
While much of the discussions will still place on the Facebook group, the website, which is set to launch on Saturday, will feature advice on where to seek help as well as an open forum for people to discuss their troubles.
Matthew has also written to fellow comedians in the hope they will share their stories to help inspire others.
To visit the Facebook page, click here. To donate to Tears of a Clown, click here.
