Stephen Hall is quick to say he’s not the greatest singer, but for this choir that doesn’t matter. It’s about much more than that.
Sing Their Name Choir was created to provide support and hope to people in Greater Manchester who have lost loved ones to suicide.
In 2023, the north-west had the highest rate of suicides in England and 200 people die by suicide each year in Greater Manchester.
Support groups specifically for people bereaved by suicide aren’t as widely available as mental health and bereavement groups which can lead to people feeling isolated – that’s where Sing Their Name comes in.
“You need to get out to peer support groups like this wherever that may be,” Stephen said.
“Not only is there support there for the actual loss, but you’ve got that added energy of singing, of learning something different.”
Stephen lost both his mother and brother to suicide. For him, like so many other people affected by suicide, it felt as though he couldn’t talk about it.
“If you’ve lost someone to suicide, there’s almost like a shame to it, like it’s a sort of dirty secret,” he said.
“Don’t be afraid to talk about it. It’s not a dirty secret. It happens. It happens quite a lot unfortunately in this world. But we need to share it and get it spoken about.”
He’s still fairly new to the group, but he beams as he talks about the choir. “I didn’t really know what I was getting into, but they were so welcoming and so supportive from the very beginning. I just seemed to fit in straight away and I really enjoy it.”
Lahra joined the choir in spring 2023, after hearing about the group performing at a Baton of Hope UK event in Greater Manchester – Sing Their Name’s first ever public performance.
“Losing somebody that you really love to suicide is such an isolating and agonising experience. When you first experience that loss you really feel terribly alone and there’s so many complex feelings, a lot of unanswered questions,” she said.
Lahra’s husband died by suicide in 2014. “I really felt like somebody was sitting on my chest for the first three years, like it was hard to even breathe. And also a lot of thinking if only I’d done this, it would have been different if I’d done that.”
She didn’t need to explain this to the choir, they just got it.
“When I walked into choir for the first time I was in a room full of people who knew exactly what I was going through. I didn’t need to say anything, people just come up and give you a hug.”
The weekly hour-long rehearsal sessions give the group time to sing out their emotions and focus solely on the music.
“You don’t have time to think about anything else. After an hour we spend a bit of time checking up on each other and see what’s going on, it’s fabulous.”
An hour or two out of a day might not seem like much, but it has created such a strong bond and support network for the members of the choir.
Fran struggled to find any support groups that catered specifically to her after her son died by suicide. A chance facebook post introduced her to the group.
She said: “I’ve made friends here in a very short space of time that I know are friends for life really.
“It also gives you a lot of hope, because there are lots of people at different stages of bereavement. Some have only been bereaved a couple of years, or a year, and some much longer. So you can see that there’s a lot of hope there, a lot of warmth and a lot of friendship.”
During her time with Sing Their Name, Fran has sung for crowds across Greater Manchester and even at St. Martin-in-the-Fields Church in London. The choir usually performs publicly a handful of times a year to spread their message that those bereaved by suicide are not alone.
Whilst they may have been united by grief, that is not the predominant feeling you feel as they go through their repertoire of songs, you feel hope. In the hardest of circumstances they’ve found a community and a mission to support the hundreds of Mancunians affected by suicide each year.
“I feel quite comfortable singing now,” says Stephen. “But I still don’t think I’ve got a good voice.” The beauty of a choir is that it uplifts every voice. And Stephen’s voice, and those of his fellow choir members, are spreading hope. That sounds better than good.
When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123, email them at [email protected], or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.
If you have been bereaved by suicide you can find support here:
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide – https://uksobs.com/
Shining a Light on Suicide – https://shiningalightonsuicide.org.uk/
GM Bereavement Service – https://greater-manchester-bereavement-service.org.uk/
Sing Their Name Choir – https://www.singtheirnamechoir.com/
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